How To Help Someone With OCD: 9 Evidence-Based Support Strategies

Watching a loved one battle obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can leave you feeling helpless and overwhelmed. As you make an effort to support your loved one with OCD, you may experience a mixed bag of emotions: frustration when their compulsive behaviors disrupt daily life, confusion about why they can’t control their behaviors, and deep concern for their well-being. 

Learning about OCD and effective support strategies can be life-changing for the both of you. When people with OCD have strong and informed support systems, they’re more likely to develop resilience and are better equipped to manage their symptoms. Your involvement helps reframe treatment as a collaborative effort rather than something they must face alone, reducing the sense that OCD defines who they are.

Here’s how to help someone with OCD as they work toward managing their symptoms and finding relief. 

What Is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?

Once classified as an anxiety disorder, OCD now occupies its own class in the DSM-5-TR as Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders.¹ It can be characterized as a cycle: intrusive, obsessive thoughts trigger intense stress, leading to compulsive behavior that temporarily reduces anxiety. While these compulsions provide temporary relief, they actually reinforce both the obsession and the compulsive response, making the person more vulnerable to future episodes. 

It’s important to remember that OCD is a medical condition, not a choice or character flaw. With 1.2% of U.S. adults affected according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH),² effective, evidence-based approaches are available, such as therapy, medication, and transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy. 

Understanding the lived experience of someone with OCD

Living with someone who has OCD may look different from society’s portrayal of the disorder, which typically focuses on the visible symptoms of order or cleanliness. While these symptoms certainly exist, they’re not universal, and the internal struggles can be far more complex and distressing. 

A person with OCD may fixate on a disturbing thought that, despite knowing they would never act on it, intrudes repeatedly and hijacks their thinking. Or they might recall driving over a speed bump and become consumed by the fear they hit someone, compelling them to drive back and check multiple times to quiet their anxiety. It’s these types of intrusive thought spirals, along with the more visible symptoms like repeated hand washing and organizing, that make OCD so distressing to live with for both those struggling with the disorder and those supporting them. 

Related: Living With OCD and Depression

9 Evidence-Based Support Strategies To Help Someone With OCD

Supporting someone with OCD can be challenging, especially when well-intentioned actions can inadvertently reinforce their symptoms. While you may feel compelled to accommodate certain behaviors or provide excessive reassurance, research shows these responses often strengthen the OCD cycle over time.³ The following evidence-based strategies can help you provide meaningful support while encouraging your loved one’s recovery.

1. Educate yourself about OCD and its symptoms

Learning about OCD from reliable sources such as the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) can help you intimately understand the condition and help you see the disorder as separate from the person. There are many misconceptions around OCD, so working to unlearn them is important for compassion and support.

Recognizing symptoms of OCD

Most people assume OCD symptoms only involve cleanliness and order, but they are actually much more complex. Additionally, OCD has historically had high rates of misdiagnoses,⁴ so accurately recognizing symptoms is crucial and include:

• Contamination fears and cleaning rituals often present as the “washer” — perhaps the most visible and well-associated symptom of OCD — where people become overly paranoid about germs and dirty surfaces, spending excessive time cleaning and hyperfocusing on hygiene. These decontamination compulsions are often accompanied by rituals, where the individual will self-clean based on a set of rules they’ve defined for themselves. People also may separate their world into a clean and dirty one, obsessively avoiding cross contamination between the two.⁵ 
• Harm obsessions involve irrational worry that they have or will cause harm to themselves or others, accompanied by intense fear that they’ll act upon these thoughts or that this idea will be proven true. This can lead to the individual self-isolating or avoiding triggering scenarios as a safety measure, which increases anxiety and perpetuates the OCD cycle.
• Checking behaviors occur when individuals experience intrusive thoughts regarding making a mistake or causing harm, leading to compulsive validation seeking. An example of this is obsessing over the idea that they didn’t turn the stove off properly and have caused a house fire, leading to the compulsive behavior of checking multiple times for reassurance.
• Symmetry/ordering compulsions is when someone becomes obsessed with the need to have things aligned, balanced, or arranged according to their perfect vision. If this is not done, the person experiences a sense of impending doom along with difficult-to-manage anxious thoughts. Even if these behaviors seem annoying and excessive to loved ones, it’s important to remember that in the mind of someone with OCD, their actions have a rationale.
• Unacceptable/taboo thought obsessions are distressing, unwanted thoughts about taboo subjects. Although the person doesn’t approve of these thoughts, it’s this repulsion to the thoughts that they obsess over, impacting how they view themselves and their self-worth. They may think that simply having these thoughts is indicative of their character, leading to compulsions like seeking reassurance that they are a good person.
• Hoarding-related symptoms involve a need to retain items — even if they are not needed or have little value — out of fear that they will be needed in the future. This can lead to a chaotic, stress-inducing, and functionally-impaired living environment. 

These symptoms vary based on severity, ranging from mild to severe OCD. Some may experience only one of these symptoms, while others struggle with multiple. Additionally, when someone struggles immensely with a specific symptom, it may be referred to as its own subtype of OCD, such as harm OCD, contamination OCD, or symmetry OCD. 

Related: Understanding Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD)

2. Avoid the accommodation trap: when helping isn’t helping

Watching someone you care about struggle with symptoms can cause feelings of desperation in an attempt to alleviate the psychological toll of their OCD. You may feel compelled to accommodate these compulsive behaviors, as it provides them with temporary relief and any attempt you make to disrupt the cycle is met with resistance. However, this is detrimental to their recovery in the long term. 

The impact of accommodation on recovery

While compulsions provide short-term relief, they reinforce the repetitive behavior and subconsciously reaffirm that the fears driving their obsessions are valid, giving momentum to the cycle. Family accommodation is common among people with OCD — approximately 95% of family members of those with OCD reported at least one accommodating behavior in the last week,⁶ such as buying them an excessive amount of disinfectants or allowing them to take lengthy showers. Even well-intentioned accommodating behavior can increase anxiety sensitivity and strengthens the grip OCD has on your loved one. 

3. Implement effective communication strategies

Communication is what drives results, allowing people with OCD to talk openly about symptoms and behaviors without any judgment. This can lead to healthy discussions regarding proper treatment, progression, and paves the way to set appropriate boundaries around accommodations. Knowing your approach toward OCD-related conversations can ensure your talks assume a tone of compassion rather than criticism. 

What to say to someone with OCD

While it can be hard to find the right things to say to someone struggling with OCD, be sure to use helpful phrases that validate their experience while offering supportive statements, including: 

• “We support your journey.”
• “If there’s any way we can help, let us know. We’re here to listen.”
• “You are not alone in this, even if it feels isolating at times.” 
• “You are not your condition.”
• “Managing OCD is a journey — make sure to show yourself some grace.”

Using language that separates the person from their OCD and exhibits compassion towards their distressing obsessions is the best approach. Most importantly, communication can reduce the risk of self-isolation, where your loved one’s OCD cycle can spiral without supervision and proper support.

What not to say to someone with OCD

Avoid dismissive language that minimizes their struggles with OCD or offers simple solutions to a complex disorder. Some dismissive or counterproductive phrases include: 

• “Just stop thinking about it.”
• “You are definitely overreacting.”
• “Maybe try chilling out.”
• “Everyone’s a little OCD.”
• “You’re acting irrationally.”

These statements demonstrate a fundamental misunderstanding of OCD. They reinforce harmful stereotypes, trivialize genuine struggles, and incorrectly imply that overcoming OCD is simple and easy. OCD is a serious, distressing disorder that significantly impacts daily functioning and requires professional treatment — recovery isn’t a matter of simple mental willpower.

Related: Understanding OCD vs Anxiety

4. Recognize warning signs of OCD escalation

Look out for behavioral indicators that your loved one’s symptoms may be worsening, including: 

• Rituals that take longer to complete.
• Frequent lateness or missed plans due to compulsions.
• Increased avoidance of social situations and support systems. 
• New obsessions developing.
• Increased requests for reassurance.
• Family members being asked to participate more in rituals.

It’s important to maintain open and honest communication with your loved one so you can more easily recognize if their symptoms are worsening and so they feel comfortable confiding in you. When you notice their OCD symptoms worsening, avoid forcing them to admit this is the case or accommodating their behaviors. Instead, facilitate judgment-free, compassionate communication, encourage them to practice self-care and seek support from a professional or an OCD support group, and reassure them that progress is rarely linear. 

5. Set reasonable expectations and avoid comparisons

When working through a mental health condition like OCD, it’s important to have realistic timelines for recovery, especially considering that the disorder is characterized by irrational self-doubt. Let your loved one know that the journey toward remission from OCD is often a nonlinear one,⁷ so encourage them to celebrate small victories and to avoid comparisons to others, reminding them that every step forward counts. Help them implement exposure techniques at an achievable pace, which may look like decreasing their time spent in the shower by a few minutes every week. 

Related: Exploring the Complex Relationship Between MDD, OCD, and ADHD

7. Empower exposure and response prevention therapy

ERP is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that is considered the gold-standard therapy for OCD. A therapist who specializes in ERP for OCD will gradually expose their patient to triggering thoughts, objects, or situations, such as touching a “dirty” surface. While initial ERP sessions will likely cause anxiety, the treatment teaches people to break the habit of avoidance and compulsions that perpetuate a person’s OCD. Incrementally increasing exposure to their triggers will desensitize the brain’s anxiety-inducing alarm response, teaching the patient that there is nothing to fear.

8. Support medication for OCD

OCD medication can effectively be used in tandem with ERP. Per the approval of your psychiatrist, medication can help regulate serotonin levels and overactive brain circuits, alleviating obsessive compulsive symptoms rooted in anxiety and lack of impulse control. FDA-approved medication for OCD include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like sertraline (Zoloft), fluoxetine (Prozac), fluvoxamine (Luvox), and paroxetine (Paxil).⁸

Medication can often be a source of fear for those with OCD, citing obsessive worries over contamination, side effects or concerns that they are “poisoning” themselves, or potential disruptions to their ritualistic routines. Encouraging them to communicate these concerns with their mental health professional for guidance can alleviate these worries and help them determine if a non-medicated approach is best. 

Related: Brain Zaps as an SSRI Side Effect

9. Consider advanced treatment options like TMS therapy

For those seeking additional options to treat OCD or with treatment-resistant OCD, TMS therapy offers promising results and is FDA-approved for treating the disorder.⁹ TMS therapy sends magnetic pulses to underactive parts of your brain associated with OCD to help regulate neural circuits involved with obsessive-compulsive behaviors. TMS for OCD can be used in tandem with medication and talk therapy, making it a valuable add-on treatment for individuals who haven’t achieved sufficient relief from traditional approaches alone.

Related: TMS for Anxiety

How Neuro Wellness Spa Can Help Someone With OCD

OCD can be a complex mental health condition that requires proper support. It’s not a disorder to navigate alone, and it doesn’t have to be an isolating experience. For compassionate support and effective, evidence-based care, call Neuro Wellness Spa to connect with one of our mental health professionals who specialize in OCD treatment. 

We offer TMS treatment for OCD, medication management, CBT, and other forms of talk therapy proven to help people resist compulsions. At Neuro Wellness Spa, we can help both you and a loved one achieve sustained relief from OCD — contact us today to begin your healing journey.

References

1. Brock, H., Rizvi, A., & Hany, M. (2024, February 24). Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. StatPearls – NCBI Bookshelf. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK553162/

2. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). (n.d.). National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd

3. Frequently asked questions about OCD. (n.d.). OCD Research Clinic. https://medicine.yale.edu/psychiatry/ocd/aboutocd/faqs/

4. Glazier, K., Swing, M., & McGinn, L. K. (2015). Half of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder cases misdiagnosed. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 76(06), e761–e767. https://doi.org/10.4088/jcp.14m09110

5. International OCD Foundation. (2017, October 10). International OCD Foundation | OCD and Contamination. https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-contamination/

6. Tulacı, R. G., & Kasal, M. İ. (2023). The relationship between family accommodation and anxiety sensitivity in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Cureus. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.43793

7. International OCD Foundation. (2014, June 26). International OCD Foundation | Relapse Prevention in the Treatment of OCD. https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-relapse-prevention/

8. Medications approved for treatment of OCD – beyond OCD. (n.d.). https://beyondocd.org/ocd-facts/approved-medications

9. Office of the Commissioner. (2018, August 17). FDA permits marketing of transcranial magnetic stimulation for treatment of obsessive compulsive disorder. U.S. Food And Drug Administration. https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/fda-permits-marketing-transcranial-magnetic-stimulation-treatment-obsessive-compulsive-disorder