Becoming a parent can be one of the most exciting and fulfilling moments of your life, worthy of celebration. But once you leave the hospital with your newborn bundled in your arms, you may feel the reality of this new chapter start to settle in, marked by unexpected feelings of anxiety, confusion, and even depression. In addition, you may find yourself harboring fear — fear of the unknown, fear for your child’s health, or fear of how the world will treat your child.
Questions circle your mind, crying out for attention. Who am I now that I’m a parent? Can I still do the things I love? Why is my mental health declining? If these thoughts resonate with you, it’s important to remember that you shouldn’t judge yourself, that these worries are completely normal, and that therapy can support you through this turbulent life transition.
Reframing the early parenting journey as an opportunity for self-discovery can help you realize that you remain the person you’ve always known — just as a parent. However, this doesn’t take away from the fact that this can certainly be a difficult adjustment period, so here’s how therapy for new parents can support your mental well-being.
Addressing Challenges That Impact the Mental Health of New Parents
Life doesn’t stop once you have a child. You’ll still have friendships to maintain, career expectations to fulfill, chores to check off, and a healthy relationship with your co-parent to nurture. Now, the weight of all these responsibilities compound with the added pressures of parenthood, which can lead to stress, loss of sleep, chronic pain, and bodily changes.
Here are some common challenges that can impact your mental state and may require therapeutic support 1 .
Postpartum mood disorders
A postpartum mood disorder is a comprehensive term that encompasses different mental health conditions, which can emerge in parents during the first year following childbirth — otherwise known as the postpartum period. It’s distinct from the typical postpartum blues or “baby blues” that 80% of new parents report feeling in the first few weeks after delivery, as postpartum mood disorders are characterized by persistent, severe, and lasting feelings of distress that impact daily functioning. It’s also different from a perinatal mood disorder, as this is a term that relates to both pregnant and postpartum mothers.
There are several different kinds of postpartum mood disorders, including:
- Postpartum depression: Symptoms include persistent sadness, loneliness, and lack of fulfillment that impacts approximately 1 in 10 new mothers 2 .
- Postpartum anxiety: Characterized by excessively worrying about your baby, causing overwhelming stress and panic attacks.
- Postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder: This type of OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts or distressing mental images about your child that interferes with daily life and causes severe anxiety.
- Postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder: A form of PTSD that can develop following a traumatic experience with childbirth.
- Postpartum psychosis: This very rare but concerning condition is characterized by hallucinations and extreme confusion.
- Paternal postpartum depression: A classification of postpartum depression that affects 8% to 10% of new fathers 3 .
While postpartum mood disorders occur at higher rates among parents that gave birth, non-birthing parents can be diagnosed with them as well. Even if you haven’t developed a mood disorder but your co-parent has, it can have a profound impact on family dynamics and the mental wellness of the household.
Related: Acknowledging Perinatal Mental Health
Heightened stress and anxiety
The unknown of how each day will go, coupled with persistent struggles to upkeep your home, sleep schedule, and mental well-being can chip away at your happiness. While increased levels of worry, anxiety, and alertness are all normal biological responses that come with taking care of your newborn, you can develop coping skills to manage stress.
Meditating, taking small walks, breathing exercises, yoga, and reading are all great ways to alleviate stress. However, if these practices aren’t yielding the results you want, it might be time to seek therapy.
Sleep disturbances, sleep deprivation, and insomnia
Sleepless nights are a familiar but frustrating challenge that almost all new parents experience. Tending to your infant’s needs throughout the night, accommodating their shorter sleep cycles, and heightened parental alertness can take a huge toll. Additionally, physical changes in the postpartum body can cause sleeping posture discomfort, further complicating a mother’s quality of sleep.
Persistent sleep disruptions can negatively impact emotional regulation, manifesting as irritability, brain fog, and mood disturbances — all of which can compound into clinical sleep disorders if left untreated. Being an opportunistic napper during this time is recommended, and reaching out to your support system to help with duties like babysitting can help you catch up on sleep debt.
Career gaps and restricted time availability
After welcoming your child into the world, you may be met with the stark reality that you have less free time. The added responsibilities that come when your baby arrives can make it difficult for your schedule to accommodate household upkeep, social time, and self-care. While this is often par for the course for new parents, it’s important to remember your available time will typically grow as your kid matures and becomes more independent. However, this doesn’t discount the impact that comes with these sacrifices.
Social interaction, self-care, maintaining a clean environment, and simply having time to decompress are all essential strategies that provide emotional support. During this time, lean on your partner and support system to assist with everyday tasks. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child.
Changes in hunger cues
New parents often experience changes in hunger cues after having a newborn baby. If you’re a new mother, childbirth comes with extreme hormonal and metabolic changes that can affect your appetite. Furthermore, your body requires nourishment following the physically taxing process of delivery, and breastfeeding requires 500 additional daily calories on average. Stress, sleep disturbances, and schedule disruptions can also lead to undereating or overeating.
When hunger cues change, physical changes often follow, potentially leading to decreased confidence and poor self-image. It’s important to remember that diet and exercise support mental wellness, and poor nutrition can cause an unhealthy gut biome — a concern that is often linked to increased anxiety and depression. Although it may be difficult, prioritizing intuitive eating and using meals as an opportunity for familial bonding can help address these issues.
Physical changes
Fluctuations in appetite aren’t the only way your body can change after childbirth. Following labor, you may notice hormonal fluctuations, stretch marks, and breast changes. Your body will also need time to heal your abdomen, reproductive organs, and pelvic floor alignment.
As previously stated, bodily changes can influence your self-image and confidence, so meet these issues with self-compassion. By embracing these transformations, dressing for comfort, and redirecting your focus to that “post-birth glow,” you can recontextualize these changes as a reminder of your body’s incredible capabilities and capacity to adapt and heal.
Parental guilt and insecurities
New parents may have worries about if they will be good at raising a child, or harbor self-doubt regarding their parental instincts. While this is normal, persistent distress can be fertile ground for mental disorders to grow, especially during this vulnerable time in your life. It’s important to remind yourself that no parent is perfect, and feelings of insecurity show self-reflection — a quality that is often absent in inadequate caregivers.
Restoring intimacy among co-parents
The transition into parenthood can affect the dynamic of romantic partners, as caregiving responsibilities take priority over intimacy and hormone fluctuations impact mood. Intimacy can be an important source of validation, comfort, and joy, so its absence can contribute to stress and feelings of low self-worth. Seemingly small gestures, such as writing a brief love note or regularly kissing your partner goodnight, can go a long way in restoring intimacy.
Signs That New Parents Should Seek Therapy
Understanding the difference between a bad day with the kid and persistent psychological distress can help you identify when therapy may be appropriate. Warning signs that new parents should seek therapeutic support include:
- Loss of joy or interest in activities that once brought fulfillment.
- Persistent tiredness, even after a good night’s rest.
- Overwhelming anxiety or panic attacks regarding the wellbeing of your child.
- Tendencies to self-medicate as a way to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression.
- Self-isolation from loved ones and support systems.
- Frequent mood changes.
- Regularly engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
- Strain on your relationship with your significant other.
- Dramatic, concerning, and unintended fluctuations in weight.
- Thoughts of self-harm, harming your baby, or passive suicidal ideation.
If you are having thoughts about harming yourself or others, immediately call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. It’s also important to remember that these aren’t criteria to “qualify” for care — therapy can benefit anyone.
Related: Stress and Parenting Children With Autism
Therapy Options for New Parents
The benefits of therapy can support anyone going through major life transitions — and having a child is one of the most significant transitions of them all. In a time where your baby’s needs often take precedence over you and your partner’s, therapy can provide a break to focus on your personal growth as a parent and express thoughts and concerns in a judgement-free environment. You can discuss how your body and identity are changing, the challenges of maintaining intimacy, and receive an assessment from a trained professional to bring clarity to concerns about having a postpartum mood disorder.
Here are several specialized therapeutic approaches that address the unique psychological challenges of early parenthood with remarkable effectiveness.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
CBT is considered the “gold standard of psychotherapy” and addresses the interconnection of thoughts, behaviors, and emotion. It addresses this interplay by reframing any unhelpful or negative thought processes to improve emotional responses 4 .
For new parents, CBT encourages you to approach the stress of this volatile transition with a judgment-free and compassionate mindset. By understanding your deep-seeded beliefs about parenthood, you can cognitively restructure the instinctive anxiety response that many experience when raising a child. If you find yourself thinking “I am a bad parent” or waking up in the middle of the night panicking about your child’s wellbeing, CBT can help you examine the root of this catastrophizing self-talk and provides a goal-oriented approach to improved mental well-being.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
DBT acknowledges contradicting, co-existing emotions, and offers an approach that balances acceptance and self-improvement. New parenthood is often marked by mixed emotions: “I love my child, but I didn’t have postpartum anxiety before” or “I want to be there for every moment of my child’s development, but I need time for myself.” DBT helps you recognize that these two things can be true at once, and provides cognitive behavioral techniques like mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotional regulation.
Parent-infant psychotherapy
Parent-infant psychotherapists work with both parents to address emotional distress in the context of attachment theory, which acknowledges the impact poor mental health can have on infantile development. It invites you to compassionately unpack the experiences and unresolved emotional needs you may have experienced during early childhood, and how your upbringing influences your approach to parenting. By understanding how a parent struggling with mental health is less in tune to their child’s needs and cues, you can take a step back and realize that a more sound mind for you can lead to a more sound household for your family.
Couples therapy
Parenting can put stress on your relationship, as many couples struggle with restoring intimacy, communicating, divvying up parental responsibilities, and navigating this emotionally vulnerable transition. Couples therapy offers an open, constructive, and safe space where thoughts and emotions that may have previously gone unaddressed due to feelings of shame or fear can be expressed under the guidance of an objective third-party mental health professional. By fostering an environment that encourages healthy communication, you can better understand your partner’s needs and the struggles that you likely both share.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
ACT focuses on accepting emotions, cognitive diffusion, and defining your personal values to provide guidance and self-assurance when you’re feeling the weight of depression, anxiety, or grief. Cognitive diffusion is a strategy that teaches you to recognize negative thought patterns as a normal emotional occurrence rather than a fact of life. In addition, when your values are clear, you can be more mindful about your mental state in a time where demands and priorities can take you out of the present moment.
Relational therapy
An relational therapist can help you navigate changes in relationships — from your romantic partnership and family to friends and peers — and is particularly effective for new parents because nearly every interpersonal dynamic can be impacted by caregiving responsibilities. By improving communication skills and productively examining ways in which your relationships are evolving post-childbirth, you can work on strategies to nurture connections and accept this evolution as a natural occurrence.
Additional Mental Health Care and Support for New Parents
While therapy can be beneficial to the mental wellness of new parents, a comprehensive treatment plan may include other care modalities to put you on the path toward healing.
Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS)
TMS therapy is a non-invasive, evidence-based, FDA-approved treatment that is safe and effective. TMS works by sending gentle magnetic pulses to stimulate certain areas of the brain that may be underactive in those struggling with postpartum mood disorders. It can be an excellent care modality to improve mental wellness, as the side effects of TMS don’t include sedation, cognitive impairment, dramatic and unwanted personality changes, or worries associated with how medication affects breastmilk nutrition.
Furthermore, research shows that TMS therapy is a promising treatment for postpartum depression, with 66% to 90% of women reporting that they had noticeable improvements in mood 5 . It’s worth noting that this figure is higher than the remission rates reported on the general adult population.
Related: What To Look For in a TMS Provider
Medication management
Medication management is the psychiatric practice of monitoring prescriptions and adjusting dosages to ensure your safety and treatment efficacy. If your your mood has declined during this time and you feel like you aren’t getting the most out of therapy, you may want to see a psychiatrist about receiving a medication prescription. Many people — especially those who have recently welcomed their first child — can benefit from the mental health support and emotional regulation that medication can provide.
Self-care
It may be difficult with the whirlwind of responsibilities that accompany new parenthood, but make sure you prioritize self-care. Mental wellness will not only benefit you, but can facilitate a healthy home environment that welcomes communication and compassion.
Support groups
Support groups can either be family, friends, parent-baby bonding classes, or established organizations designed to address issues experienced during early parenthood. Look for programs that foster community and support parents, such as breastfeeding support classes, playgroups, Baby and Me Yoga, or music and movement classes for babies. By drawing strength from your support system, you’ll come to realize that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Mental Health Resources for New Parents
If you’re a new parent feeling the physical and mental impacts of stress and depression, here are some free resources and hotlines available for you to contact in times of need.
Immediate help: 9-1-1
If you are thinking about harming yourself or others, please call 911 immediately to ensure the safety of yourself and your family.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Phone number: 1-800-273-8255
This provides compassionate, confidential, and expert-guided support to parents experiencing suicidal ideation.
Postpartum Support International
Phone number: 1-800-944-4773
Call this number if you are struggling with a postpartum mood disorder and need resources and support to navigate parental challenges.
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
Phone number: 1-833-852-6262
This free resource offers 24/7 support for new parents struggling with mental health challenges.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s National Helpline
Phone number: 1-800-662-4357
Substance use can be particularly dangerous with a child in the household, and new parents may be particularly susceptible to self-medicating symptoms of postpartum mood disorders. This is a free resource that provides free and confidential support for substance abuse and mental health challenges.
Community health departments
Contact your local health department to get information on resources, preventive care, new parent counseling, and support in your area.
How Neuro Wellness Spa Can Help New Parents
Neuro Wellness Spa’s knowledgeable and compassionate care team is trained and ready to enhance the mental well-being of new parents — as well as any individual who needs mental health support or is going through a major life transition. We know your time is precious with a little one, so call now to get started on your healing journey, today. New parents, we are here to support you with in-person and online psychiatry, medication management, talk therapy, and TMS therapy.
At Neuro Wellness Spa, we ensure that every therapy session is catered to your specific goals and mental health needs as a new parent. The 13-session timeframe will gently encourage you to examine thoughts and behaviors in a safe and confidential environment with expert guidance. As your parenting journey progresses past the postpartum period, you’ll be invited to continue therapy so you can achieve the emotional resilience that you desire.
References
- Adjusting to the challenges of parenthood. (2022, February 22). https://www.panda.org.au/articles/adjusting-to-the-challenges-of-parenthood
- Website, N. (2024, January 11). Overview – Postnatal depression. nhs.uk. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-natal-depression/overview/
- Scarff, J. R. (2019, June 1). Postpartum depression in men. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6659987/
- David, D., Cristea, I., & Hofmann, S. G. (2018). Why cognitive behavioral therapy is the current gold standard of psychotherapy. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 9. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2018.00004
- MGH Center for Women’s Mental Health. (2020, July 9). Is transcranial magnetic stimulation effective for postpartum depression? – MGH Center for Women’s Mental Health. MGH Center for Women’s Mental Health – Women’s Mental Health Across the Life Cycle. https://womensmentalhealth.org/posts/tms-for-ppd/