What Causes Depression and Loneliness During the Holidays? Understanding Triggers and Finding Treatment

During the winter holidays, many people understandably feel the pressure for the season to be fun, festive, and happy. After all, it’s a time of year marked by traditions of gathering with family and friends, eating home-cooked meals, and gift giving. But what happens when we can’t gather with loved ones, or when mental health struggles get in the way of the holiday cheer that we feel obligated to express?

For many, the unique end-of-year conditions make managing loneliness, anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions even more challenging than they already are as these negative feelings stand out in stark contrast with how we think we’re supposed to feel. If you resonate with this sentiment, you may be wondering why this occurs. Understanding potential causes is the first step to achieving peace, fulfillment, mental well-being, and emotional resilience during this often difficult time.

10 Reasons Why Anxiety and Depression Can Be Triggered During the Holidays

To understand why your mental health struggles worsen during the holidays, it’s important to understand that triggering events can vary vastly from one person to the next. Worsening mental health can be caused by numerous factors — some we may not even recognize — and is extremely common. One poll found that in 2025, 41% of Americans said they anticipate increased stress during the holidays, a significant increase from last year where only 28% expected a stressful season.¹ 

Here’s a look at some physical, emotional, and psychological aspects of the holiday season that can contribute to new or worsening symptoms of psychiatric disorders to help you get an idea of what’s going on.

1. Increased stress

At the end of the day (or year, in this case), the holidays are packed to the brim with obligations and responsibilities. Spending money, brainstorming meaningful gift ideas and then shopping for them, coordinating when the family will be in town, attending or hosting get-togethers, cooking, cleaning, navigating problematic family dynamics that you get to avoid for 11 months — this is just the tip of the iceberg regarding what can be stressful. And on top of all that, work responsibilities continue — or even increase, depending on your profession.

Holiday stress from the social aspect of the holidays can be particularly triggering for those with a social anxiety disorder, as they are blitzed with family members requesting updates on your year in a concise, articulate answer. If you are in a precarious financial situation or experiencing the effects of economic stress, an expensive month can bring about real concern. These stressors are reflected in the data: 46% of people report that affording or finding gifts is a trigger, 32% cite dealing with challenging family dynamics, and 31% say loneliness.¹ 

2. Unrealistic expectations

Many people may be perpetually disappointed by the reality of their holiday season and how it pales in comparison to the movie portrayals of happy families, decadent meals, twinkling lights, lavish presents, and magic reindeer. In the real world, we experience family strife, credit card bills, unmet quotas, reminders of grief, heightened loneliness, and constant pressures to submit to commercialism. It’s not unnatural to have an idealized vision of what the holidays should be or how they should occur.

When these expectations are unmet, it can be a significant letdown — especially when significant time and energy were spent trying to meet these lofty expectations. Research shows that unmet expectations are a significant predictor of dissatisfaction, anxiety, and depression.² It’s important to remember that reality is much more humbling than what you find on social media, movies, or commercials, and that your holiday season can still be meaningful even when it doesn’t match those idealized images. 

3. Comparing yourself to others

Another reason anxiety, loneliness, and depression are often triggered during the holiday season is that it becomes easier to compare ourselves with others, especially financially. Questions become habitual: Does my friend’s family look healthier than mine on our Christmas cards? Did I spend enough money on my wife’s gift? Is my neighbor’s Christmas tree bigger than ours? Did I get as many presents as I did last year?

Unfortunately, the holiday season is steeped in consumerism, and marketing messages constantly encourage these comparisons. Making these comparisons can contribute to low self-esteem and make us feel anxious and depressed when our neighbors, friends, and relatives seem to be happier and have a better life than we do — even when it is not true.

4. Increased feelings of loneliness

At a time marked by social gatherings, not attending these get-togethers can exacerbate feelings of loneliness. There are many reasons why people can’t participate: family isn’t hosting, living too far away makes travel financially unfeasible, work obligations prevent attendance, or weather conditions make travel impossible. Some experience family estrangement due to identifying with the LGBTQIA+ community or because of toxic family dynamics they wish to avoid. Additionally, businesses and services implement limited operating hours during the holidays, reducing access to gyms, coffee shops, and other social outlets that normally provide connection and community.

Feelings of loneliness become more poignant when the soundtrack to our struggles is songs that portray the season as “the most wonderful time of the year.” This “forced joy” effect can make us feel like we’re failing when we don’t genuinely feel the holiday cheer that seems mandatory. 

5. Family conflict

Families don’t always get along. If there is an ongoing conflict between loved ones, it can be hard to feel connected and loved. The very thing that should relieve loneliness can backfire if a family member decides to bring up past turmoil — a reality that becomes more likely when alcohol is involved. Family conflict during the holidays can lead to additional stress and anxiety during family gatherings and often results in social isolation and more loneliness.

Some people experience exclusion from their families, whether due to toxic dynamics, problematic history, or identifying with a community their family doesn’t approve of. Research shows that almost half of LGBTQIA+ adults experience family estrangement,³ and celebrating alone can bring heightened awareness of these struggles. For those who do attend family gatherings despite conflict, other challenges include anticipatory anxiety in the weeks leading up to events, witnessing loved ones with chronic pain or struggling with untreated depression, past trauma being triggered by family environments, or being scapegoated as family members look for someone to blame for their problems.

6. Reminders of grief

If a loved one recently passed away and this is the first holiday without them, it can make us experience grief and loss all over again. Loneliness during the holidays can be overwhelming without the loved ones who once were the highlight of family gatherings. When the dinner table has one less seat occupied or there’s one less stocking on the mantel, grief can resurface in unexpected and potent ways. Holiday traditions and rituals that once brought joy now serve as painful reminders of who’s missing.

7. Past traumas

The holiday season presents real triggers that can increase hypervigilance, anxiety, and depression for trauma survivors — whether the trauma is recent or occurred years ago. These triggers include revisiting a childhood home where abuse took place, expectations of physical affection (hugs, kisses) that feel violating (particularly to those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)), and religious trauma from being pressured to attend church services or celebrate religious holidays that were sources of past harm. Additionally, this time of year could mark the anniversary of when a traumatic event occurred, serve as a reminder of abusive relationships, or activate survivor’s guilt as grief resurfaces.

These trauma responses are compounded by holiday-specific stressors. Sensory overload is prevalent as bright lights, constant music, and strong scents become overwhelming. The nature of the holidays also disrupts daily routines that trauma survivors often rely on to maintain control and reduce anxiety. To avoid these triggers, some people withdraw from social contact, which can worsen feelings of isolation and negatively impact emotional health.

8. Loss of structure and routine

Structure and routine provide a sense of control and stability, particularly for trauma survivors and those with depression and anxiety disorders. Research shows that those with weaker routines report higher levels of anxiety and depression than those with stronger, more established ones.⁴

The holidays disrupt multiple aspects of daily routine simultaneously: changing workloads and days off, school closures, disrupted sleep patterns due to late-night parties, irregular eating patterns encouraged by permission to indulge, and travel schedules. Additionally, the period between Christmas and New Year’s can cause disorientation as many people lose track of which day of the week it is. For those who rely on structured routines to manage their mental health, these disruptions can be particularly destabilizing. 

9. Feelings of being “behind” in life are amplified

Family gatherings often involve family members eager to hear what you’ve been up to for the last year. If unaccomplished goals, career stagnation, or perceived lack of progress have defined the past 365 days, recounting your year can be extremely stressful and upsetting. This sentiment rings especially true when other family members — a successful sibling or thriving cousin — seem to be excelling, making comparisons inevitable and highlighting your perceived shortcomings. The end-of-year timing amplifies these feelings, as holidays coincide with natural reflection on annual progress and unmet expectations.

10. Past substance use

If someone is recovering from alcohol or drug misuse, the holidays can be a particularly difficult time. Family gatherings often involve alcohol, memories of past substance use may resurface, and stress from family conflicts or financial strain can trigger cravings. Research from addiction treatment centers shows that relapse rates spike significantly during the holiday season, with some facilities reporting increases of 150% in patient readmissions.⁵ 

For those in recovery, maintaining vigilance about managing triggers and having a support plan in place is crucial. It’s also important to note that substance misuse can worsen depressive symptoms and other mental health conditions, creating a dangerous cycle.

Related: A Guide to Depression Medication

Is Your Loneliness and Depression Actually Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

If none of the previously mentioned triggers seem to explain persistent feelings of depression and loneliness during the winter months — if the holiday blues feel deeper and more pervasive — seasonal affective disorder (SAD) may be the underlying cause. Approximately 4% to 6% of Americans experience winter-onset SAD, often triggered by shorter days and reduced exposure to natural light that cause chemical changes in the brain leading to low mood and other depressive symptoms.⁶ Mental distress surrounding the holidays can compound this effect, intensifying symptoms of seasonal depression.

For those with winter-onset SAD, even positive holiday experiences, supportive family interactions, or personal accomplishments won’t prevent the onset of depressive symptoms. SAD is a clinical mental health condition similar to major depressive disorder (MDD) that requires professional treatment and support through talk therapy, medication management, light therapy, or other evidence-based approaches.

Related: Best Treatments for Anxiety

Managing Loneliness and Depression This Holiday Season

The most important thing you can do for yourself to prevent anxiety, depression, and feelings of loneliness during the holidays is to practice self-care and seek professional support. Make a concerted effort to develop healthy coping strategies, maintain healthy habits, and seek support from a loved one so that when you begin to experience social isolation or depression this fall and winter, you will not feel overwhelmed.

Consider seeking professional support if you feel lonely or depressed. A mental health professional can help you understand the things that trigger you and help you avoid them. They can also understand why you may feel lonely during the holidays and help you manage the physical symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Your mental and physical health is vital to your overall well-being. Consider incorporating the following during the holiday season if you are beginning to feel overwhelmed:

• Set realistic expectations for the holidays: To avoid feeling let down, consider what you expect from yourself and others without expecting too much.
• Do not overdo it: It is easy to want to do as much as you can during the holiday season. It is okay to scale things down and still enjoy the holidays by limiting what you will do. 
• Put yourself and your needs first: There is only so much you can do in a day. Set time aside each day for personal care, hobbies, and things you enjoy. If that means skipping family gatherings, holiday parties, and other social events, then skip them. You don’t need to feel guilty about it; your friends and family should understand.
• Find a support group: Reaching out to support groups is a great way to form social relationships with people who are experiencing similar feelings throughout the holidays.
• Consider professional treatment: There are a variety of mental health resources available such as transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy and other psychiatry treatments that can help you maintain your mental health during the holidays. Being proactive about your mental health can give you the support you need to manage difficult emotions and prevent an anxiety or depression relapse. 
• Reimagine holiday traditions: If traditional celebrations cause more stress and depression, create new traditions that fit your current circumstances. Consider creating a memorial ritual for loved ones who have passed, hosting a Friendsgiving for those estranged from family, or planning budget-friendly celebrations that mitigate financial stress. For trauma survivors, celebrating at a different time of year can avoid triggering associations. Those in recovery from substance use can host sober gatherings with others in the recovery community, creating meaningful connections without the pressure to drink. 

If you notice you are experiencing anxiety, loneliness, or depression this fall and winter, it is crucial not to let it become the focal point of your holidays. If you are already receiving some form of ongoing care, consider increasing the number of sessions to provide the additional support you need to overcome depression.

Related: Shedding Light on Stay-At-Home Mom Depression

How Neuro Wellness Spa Can Help You Manage Loneliness and Depression During the Holidays

If you or a loved one is experiencing increased depression, anxiety, or other mental health symptoms around the holidays, contact Neuro Wellness Spa to learn more about our treatment options. We offer in-person and online psychiatry along with medication management and will work with you to find a medication that can help with your unique symptoms. Our in-person and online psychotherapy program will help you identify the underlying causes of mental health conditions and teach you effective coping mechanisms to use throughout your daily life. 

If you are diagnosed with depression and have tried medications and other treatments with little to no improvement, TMS therapy is a great alternative that treats parts of the brain responsible for mood regulation. Our expert team of clinicians would be more than happy to walk you through your journey toward mental wellness.

FAQ: Loneliness and Depression During the Holidays

Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about loneliness and depression during the holidays.

References

1. Americans are More Anxious than Last Year About the Upcoming Holidays;  Health Care and the Economy. (n.d.). https://www.psychiatry.org/News-room/News-Releases/Americans-More-Anxious-About-the-Holidays?__hstc=230408323.c88a9e951094700c5d920801596776a9.1765826082586.1765826082586.1765826082586.1&__hssc=230408323.2.1765826082586&__hsfp=2724220660

2. Chaffin, C. R. (2025, January 3). We tend to expect a lot from our future. Managing those expectations is key. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/putting-psychology-into-practice/202501/the-danger-of-expectations-how-they-shape-our-lives

3. Us, J. L. (2023, April 19). New research shows almost half of LGBT+ adults are estranged from family and a third ‘not confident’ their parents will accept them. Just Like Us. https://justlikeus.org/news/2023/04/19/new-research-shows-almost-half-of-lgbt-adults-are-estranged-from-family-and-a-third-not-confident-their-parents-will-accept-them/

4. Cepni, A. B., Kirschmann, J. M., Rodriguez, A., & Johnston, C. A. (2025). When Routines break: The health Implications of disrupted daily life. American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, 15598276251381626. https://doi.org/10.1177/15598276251381626

5. Center for Network Therapy. (2018, December 13). Drug and alcohol relapse rates spike 150% during the holidays [Press release]. PR Newswire. https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/drug-and-alcohol-relapse-rates-spike-150-during-the-holidays-300764679.html

6. Staff, N. A. (2025, June 10). Seasonal affective Disorder and depression in teens. Newport Academy. https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/teens-seasonal-affective-disorder/

7. Borchard, T. J. (2016, January 11). Surviving January — the most depressing month of the year. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/surviving-january-the-most-depressing-month-of-the-year#1