The days are getting shorter, the malls are getting busier, and the neighborhood is becoming more illuminated, which can only mean one thing: the holiday season is rapidly approaching. For some, this means home-cooked meals, fun festivities, and wholesome moments bonding with family. For people living with depression, however, the holidays can be a very difficult time of year, littered with triggers and environments where feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety can take root and grow.
Even for those who feel confident in their coping strategies and the stability of their mental health, the holiday season can still inflict pain, anxiety, and stress. Although the holiday season is often framed as “the most wonderful time of the year,” it can also be the most expensive time of the year, the loneliest time of the year, and the most mentally taxing time of the year, especially for someone navigating complex family dynamics and mental health struggles. That’s why friends and family members should be conscious of how the holiday season impacts the mental health and overall well-being of their loved ones.
If someone in your life is experiencing depression during the holidays, here are 11 ways to be a more supportive friend and family member to ensure they make it through with emotional resilience.
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11 Ways To Support a Loved One With Holiday Depression
Supporting someone with holiday depression can feel tricky — you want to be there for them without being overwhelming or drawing more attention to their pain. Here are some ways to strike that balance.
1. Understand how depression symptoms manifest
The first step to helping a loved one with depression during the holidays is being able to identify their symptoms. Depression is more than just sadness or loneliness — it’s a significant loss of interest in doing things previously enjoyed, difficulty concentrating or making even small decisions, and is often accompanied by unintended weight changes and disruptions in sleep quality. Irritability or mood reactivity can also be prominent, and you may notice your loved one moving slower than usual, or conversely, being fidgety and restless.
A depressed individual may feel an excessive amount of guilt and worthlessness that can escalate into thoughts of death or suicide. Because depression may cause difficulties in concentration, decision-making, and motivation, depressed loved ones are especially challenged when it comes to communicating their needs, particularly during the holidays.
It’s important to remember that depression looks different for everyone. However, during the holiday season, common signs might include:
- Withdrawing from gatherings or social invitations.
- Sleeping too much or too little.
- Neglecting personal care and hygiene.
- Heightened anxiety, social anxiety, or irritability.
- Struggling with basic tasks and motivation.
- Expressing dark or hopeless thoughts.
People sometimes fall into a seasonal pattern where they experience these symptoms around the same time every year, which could mean they have seasonal affective disorder (SAD). SAD affects around 5% of people in the United States, with symptoms most commonly emerging during winter due to less sunlight and persisting for about 4 to 5 months.1 If you notice a loved one exhibiting any of these signs, it could indicate they may benefit from some form of mental health treatment.
2. Check-in with them regularly
When someone is dealing with depression, consistent contact matters — even if they don’t always respond. Depression often tells people they’re a burden, so they may stop reaching out or withdraw from communication entirely. That’s when your regular check-ins become most important.
Make it a habit to reach out, whether through a thoughtful text, a quick phone call, or offering to spend time together if they’re comfortable with visits. Keep it simple and judgment-free: “Thinking of you today,” “No need to respond, just wanted you to know I care,” or “I’m here whenever you want to talk.” The key is showing up consistently without expecting anything in return. Even when they go silent, continue reaching out — having supportive and caring people in their life reminds them they’re not alone, even when depression tells them otherwise.
3. Actively listen
It’s easy to get caught up in gift-giving and party preparation during the holidays, becoming so distracted with our own tasks and chores that we forget to listen to a friend or family member when they reach out to us. Pay close attention when someone opens up during this season, as holiday celebrations can often feel like an exhausting performance to people with depression. Taking time to let them express themselves authentically can make all the difference. It validates their reality and lets them know that it’s okay to be depressed in an environment that’s constantly emphasizing how joyous it is.
Active listening isn’t necessarily about “fixing” them by offering advice or resources — though that can be helpful when appropriate. Instead, show them you care enough to listen, validate their feelings, and respect what they say. When depression tells them that they are “too much,” taking time to reassure them that they are doing the best they can is a great way to offer support as they untangle overwhelming emotions.
4. Know what not to say to them
Actively listening is just one piece of the equation — how you respond to what they share matters just as much. Here are some responses to avoid:
- “How could you be sad during the happiest time of the year?”
- “I feel depressed from time to time too.”
- “Everyone gets a little sad at the end of the year.”
- “Just focus on gratitude and giving, it will help you feel better.”
- “Can’t you handle one night of the year with family? We spent so much time planning.”
- “Have a drink! It will take the edge off.”
These responses range from dismissive to encouraging counterproductive behaviors. They minimize their experience, compare their clinical depression to normal sadness, create unrealistic expectations about their emotional capacity, or pressure them to push through for others’ sake. Sometimes, the most helpful response is simply listening without judgment as they express themselves authentically.
5. Suggest stress-relieving, cost-friendly activities
Once a person feels that they’ve been heard, it can be easier to offer encouragement and information. If you sense a loved one is struggling with holiday depression, winter-onset SAD, financial stress, or other mental health issues, offer to join them in a fun, low-cost activity. Research shows that financial strain is the leading cause of holiday-related stress.2 However, late fall is the perfect time to put on soothing music, play board games, take a drive to see holiday decorations, or find something lighthearted and fun to do together.
6. Encourage them to maintain their routines and self-care
During the holiday season, established routines and self-care habits can often get thrown to the wayside as days off and midweek celebrations take priority. Studies show that routines often provide people dealing with anxiety and depression with a sense of control and can help reduce symptoms.3 Physical activity has been proven to mitigate depression symptoms, and healthy eating habits play an important role in supporting mental health.
However, the holiday season can disrupt people’s normal routine and commitment to healthy habits, as gyms implement limited operation hours and grocery stores become a source of stress as they experience a surge in customers. To counter these challenges, invite them to go on a walk outside and enjoy the crisp winter air to help reduce stress levels, or drop off a home-cooked, healthy meal at their place. Although the holidays are typically a time when people feel they have permission to indulge in hearty, soulful meals, mixing in healthy alternatives can help fuel their body and mind to ward off stress and negative emotions.
7. Don’t place unnecessary pressure and respect boundaries
When connecting with your loved ones during the holiday season, let them know that declining your offer is perfectly acceptable. People with anxiety often struggle to effectively set boundaries, worried about what others will think or disappointing people. However, research shows that implementing healthy boundaries can support emotional security, reduce anxiety, and even improve physical health [4].
Sometimes, when a loved one is experiencing the holiday blues, the boldest act of self-care is simply to take time for themselves. Don’t pressure them to go out or stay out later if they don’t feel comfortable or if they are feeling depressed, as some holiday activities can trigger depression and cause more stress or mood swings.
If crowds make them anxious, avoid places where there may be many people. If they are sober, find gatherings where drinks or triggers won’t be present. And, if your friend or family member does decline, don’t take that as a reason to stop inviting them to future outings. Be patient and gently encourage their presence while maintaining your support and love.
8. Act as their buffer at social gatherings
For some people — trauma survivors, those in substance use recovery, people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) — the social aspect of the holidays can be extremely stressful, and they may struggle to set boundaries. When accompanying them to celebrations, take it as an opportunity to gently redirect any uncomfortable remarks or intervene in situations to make them feel more at ease.
For example, if they are sober and someone offers them a drink, step in and say you’ll handle it, then bring them a mocktail instead. If they have OCD and aren’t comfortable with physical contact, use fist bump greetings with other partygoers to set a no-hugging precedent. If they are a trauma survivor and get nervous around big crowds, suggest stepping outside for some fresh air intermittently throughout the night.
9. Help them limit alcohol consumption
Around the holidays, when gatherings are often characterized by spiked eggnog, mulled wine, and cheers with champagne glasses, it can be the most difficult time of year to abstain from alcohol. While alcohol consumption can temporarily provide relief from depression, anxiety, and stress, excessive drinking in the long-term actually increases symptoms of these mental health struggles and teaches them unhealthy coping strategies. Research shows that alcohol use disorder (AUD) at least doubles the risk of depression, and that stopping alcohol use can lead to significant improvements in depressive symptoms.5
Offering support to help them limit alcohol consumption can come in many forms. Bring alcohol-free alternatives to gatherings, such as mocktails or specialty sodas, so they have appealing options. Consider planning activities that don’t revolve around drinking, like game nights, outdoor activities, or coffee meetups. Avoid drawing attention to their decision to abstain. If someone offers them a drink, step in as their buffer — politely decline on their behalf or redirect the conversation to help them avoid uncomfortable situations where they might feel pressured.
10. Acknowledge their grief
Grief is a common source of depression during the holidays. When families gather, it can become a glaring reminder of who’s missing, as smells, sights, and familiar meals evoke memories of those we used to share them with. Sometimes, simply acknowledging this reality can be enough to let them know that they are seen and cared for.
This can be a topic that many people are uncomfortable approaching. After all, you don’t want to interrupt their holiday cheer by reminding them of who they may have recently lost. In reality, though, people who have experienced profound loss don’t go a day without thinking about it, and reminding them that you are there for them can reduce feelings of shame and create opportunities for connection.
11. Continue checking in on them after the holidays
Depression doesn’t end when the holiday season is over — even SAD symptoms can last 4 to 5 months. Continuing to check in and offer support past the New Year can ensure they feel cared for year-round, not just during the most difficult season. Even if physical distance makes regular contact harder, continue to send thoughtful texts, schedule video calls, and maintain the supportive presence you established during the holidays. Consistent follow-through shows that your care wasn’t just seasonal, but genuine and lasting.
Related: Depression in the Elderly
When To Encourage Your Loved One To Seek Professional Help
The reality is, many people experience increased stress during the holidays. Recent polls show that 41% of people in the U.S. expected to experience increased stress during the 2025 holiday season.6 But when does increased stress or the holiday blues cross the threshold into clinical depression or winter-onset SAD?
The difference is that the holiday blues are situational and temporary, triggered by holiday-related stressors and often manageable with proper self-care. Depression, on the other hand, occurs when these feelings persist beyond the holiday season, become pervasive across multiple areas of life, and significantly impair daily functioning. However, only a mental health professional can accurately diagnose depression, ensuring your loved one meets the criteria outlined in the DSM-5-TR, which requires at least 5 out of 9 specific symptoms.
If your loved one is diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MDD) or SAD, professional support is the next step. This can come in the form of talk therapy for depression, antidepressants, light therapy, or innovative, evidence-based approaches like transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy.
Related: 6 Lesser Known Signs of Depression Relapse
How Neuro Wellness Spa Can Support a Loved One With Holiday Depression
Neuro Wellness Spa can help you or a loved one who may be struggling with holiday depression symptoms. We are proud to offer in-network psychiatry, talk therapy, and TMS therapy for depression available to residents of California. Our team of mental health professionals will work with you to assess symptoms and create a personalized treatment plan that aligns with your mental health goals.
If you or a loved one is experiencing signs and symptoms of holiday depression, please contact us today to schedule a consultation and learn more about how we can support your journey toward better mental health.
FAQ: How To Support a Loved One With Seasonal Depression
Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about how to support a loved one with holiday depression.
The worst months for seasonal depression will depend on what type of SAD you have: winter-onset SAD or summer-onset SAD. It’s also important to remember that the “worst month” may vary from person to person. However, winter-onset SAD is far more common than summer-onset, and studies show that January and February are typically the months when depression symptoms are at their strongest.7
The most established and effective natural treatment for seasonal depression is light therapy, with studies showing that 70% of patients experienced relief within a few weeks.8 Other natural approaches include regular exercise, proper nutrition, quality sleep, meditation, and social connection. Various supplements such as Vitamin D and St. John’s Wort may also help, though their efficacy varies. Additionally, psychotherapy — particularly cognitive behavioral therapy adapted for SAD — has shown strong evidence for reducing symptoms and can be used alongside or instead of medication.
Dealing with holiday depression starts with maintaining your regular routines — prioritize consistent sleep, regular exercise, and healthy eating even during the busy season. Set boundaries by declining invitations when needed and being honest about what you can handle, rather than overcommitting to please others. If symptoms persist beyond two weeks or significantly interfere with daily functioning, seek professional help through therapy, medication, or specialized treatments like light therapy for seasonal depression.
References
- Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). (n.d.). https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/seasonal-affective-disorder
- Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most Americans. (2023, November 30). https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress
- Cepni, A. B., Kirschmann, J. M., Rodriguez, A., & Johnston, C. A. (2025). When Routines break: The health Implications of disrupted daily life. American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, 15598276251381626. https://doi.org/10.1177/15598276251381626
- Jkim. (2021, August 16). How Setting Boundaries Can Benefit Physical and Mental Health – Nursing@Georgetown. Nursing@Georgetown. https://online.nursing.georgetown.edu/blog/how-setting-boundaries-can-benefit-physical-and-mental-health/
- Nunes, E. V. (2023). Alcohol and the Etiology of Depression. American Journal of Psychiatry, 180(3), 179–181. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.20230004
- Americans are More Anxious than Last Year About the Upcoming Holidays; Health Care and the Economy. (n.d.). https://www.psychiatry.org/News-room/News-Releases/Americans-More-Anxious-About-the-Holidays?__hstc=230408323.c88a9e951094700c5d920801596776a9.1765826082586.1765826082586.1765826082586.1&__hssc=230408323.2.1765826082586&__hsfp=2724220660
- Borchard, T. J. (2016, January 11). Surviving January — the most depressing month of the year. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/surviving-january-the-most-depressing-month-of-the-year#1
- Bright Light therapy: Growing evidence beyond seasonal depression. (n.d.). https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/bright-light-therapy-beyond-seasonal-depression